Some people are born athletes who love to work out and go to the gym as much as possible, but I will never claim to be one of those people.
Sure, I used to ride horses every day when I was younger and was on all the sports teams in public school (basketball, volleyball, soccer, etc...), but that was the extent of my physical activity and I wasn't a star athlete by any means. Then, in my early teens, the weight started to pile on, thanks to plenty of servings of french fries with gravy and pasta with butter. Mmmm...so good! My high school nickname was “Buffy”, which stood for “buffalo butt and hippo hips”; a wonderful nickname started by my older brother and it spread very quickly, ending up in the yearbook under my name. (If only the Vampire Slayer had existed at that time, maybe the nickname would have been more fun.)
I remember the first time I lost a ton of weight was by accident. It was during a summer at Sauble Beach, where I was visiting my grandparents, and I'd have to ride my bike a couple of miles to get to the beach, which I did several times a day (to visit cute boys). Upon my return home, people kept complimenting me on the weight loss and I realized I never wanted to be taunted by “Buffy”again. That's when my battle with anorexia began...
Since then, my weight has fluctuated a few times and when I got my first gig on TV, the fat-shaming bullies returned with a vengeance. I was hosting a soap opera segment called “Lather Up” on The New VR, which aired during All My Children, and I received many nasty emails attacking my physical appearance, including one from a man who wrote, “can you not find anyone better than this fat ugly pig?” I was only 22 years old and called my mother absolutely bawling. She signed up to a gym with me right away and I lost a few pounds, but never had fun doing it and I've since discovered the chubby cheeks I was born with will always exist no matter how much weight I seem to lose.
I don't work out because I like it. I don't work out to make others feel bad. I don't work out for a good profile pic. I don't work out to “get men”, because many don't like it and are not huge fans of women whose biceps are bigger than theirs! (Even though that may be a sign of “other”small muscles too. Wink. Wink.)
I have realized working out is something I need to do, just like brushing my teeth. It makes me feel better. It gets my hormones balanced. It makes me eat. It gives me more energy. I force myself to go to the gym and I'll never harp on others who think it sucks, because I agree!!!
I got my personal training certification with CanFitPro in 2015 to help others get healthy in my spare time and received my Healthy Weight Loss (Nutrition) certification in November 2017; however, I understand I'm selling a product people HATE and I refuse to push people to buy my services unless they want them. Period.
I wish we were all born with perfect bodies, but we are not, and my body isn't happy unless it's pumping iron, sadly. Sucks for me, eh? We've all heard from doctors that we need to work out for our health, but we just don't BECAUSE it sucks and maybe one day you'll have to do it, like me. And when that time comes, I promise to never be that girl at the gym who says “isn't this awesome?!?” and “isn't this fun?!?” No. It isn't! Instead, I'll be the girl next to you saying “yes, this totally blows, but wait until you see what happens next!”
I still plan to do a fitness competition in the near future, as soon as my body allows it, and I know working out will always be a huge part of my life from now on, but trust me, I hate it and misery loves company, so you're always welcome to join me! xo
Love, Buffy
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